The gift of presence
“Listening is more than simply hearing. Listening involves all the senses.” Jim Canterucci
How often have you said or heard someone say they just want to be seen, they just want to be heard? Why is it we feel this way? To truly listen to someone, as opposed to just hearing words (not unlike the cartoon of a human commanding a dog to sit or stay and it turns out what the dog is hearing is blah, de-blah, de-blah), is to begin to establish the conditions of truly connecting with another. It is establishing presence.
Recently, during the level two teacher-training weekend, we engaged in an exercise of establishing presence and then listening. The response from those who were heard for two to three minutes was profound. People were surprised that emotions arose through such a simple exercise, that they felt so moved. This may be because many of us unfortunately do not have much experience in being fully heard by another with non-judgmental presence. By presence I mean, fully awake and aware of what the other is saying. In other words, listening cannot happen unless first we ground and center ourselves in the moment. This is our greatest gift, our presence.
So how can we learn to listen? Try this exercise with a friend. First, one of you will choose to be the “listener” and one will be the “speaker.”
The listener will need to find him or herself. To do this, ground. Feel your feet, legs, sitz bones, pelvis and the base of your skull. Feel the sacrum as the potent source of energy at the core. As the tailbone roots down into the earth, the sacrum initiates the rebounding energy drawing up to the crown of the head. The sacrum and tailbone are the anchors that allow the crown of the head to open to what is going on outside without losing one’s center.
From that place, set an intention to listen with your whole body, not just your ears.
Ask your partner in this experience what is most present for them at this moment. Then let them talk, without analyzing, judging or fixing.
Rather than telling them what to do, try asking more questions. “Can you tell me more about it? What is your sense about what is present? Where is it felt? Does it have a shape, color or texture? Does it feel light or dark, loose or tight, etc?”
It is interesting how often we try to “fix” without finding out what the problem is. No wonder our best advice is not taken. When we take the time to listen the person being heard usually doesn’t end up needing fixing. As they hear themselves, the answer arises.
Give this a try. Give the greatest gift there is, your presence. And let me know how it goes.
Shanti
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Resiliency
Resiliency
Last week, we continued exploring the hamstrings. In that blog there was mention of the fascia, the glove-like connective tissue that interweaves and encases the tissues and structures of the body. This led me to a meandering train of thought about autumn and its reminder that the only constant is change. I see a connection between fascia and this dance of fall bringing on its winds of change.
When the fascia is tight the body cannot adapt, move and change as needed. It is like wearing shoes that are too tight. Everything in the body becomes restricted. Just as a tree that does not sway in the wind will break, a rigid body is prone to break down. But the opposite presents problems too: when there is no tone, when things are too loose, there is a lack of integrity in the system, which can lead to dissipation of energy, fatigue and injury.
This brought to mind one of my favorite words these days – resiliency. Resiliency is the “ability to spring back from and adapt to adversity,” whether that adversity is due to physical or psychological stressors. Resiliency brings to mind energy that is not too tight and not too loose but, as Goldilocks would say, “is just right.” Resiliency is a play of balancing opposites, of equanimity.
What are some ways to create resilience? Working with the fascia is a good one. Doing things that are nourishing to your being/Being is another. I love to play with balance poses in the fall as they remind me that balance is not a static thing, that it is constantly changing and that every time I find a new point of balance for that moment, I am creating resilience.
What creates resilience for you? What nourishes you? Respond and we can start a dialog; I would love to learn from you.
Last week, we continued exploring the hamstrings. In that blog there was mention of the fascia, the glove-like connective tissue that interweaves and encases the tissues and structures of the body. This led me to a meandering train of thought about autumn and its reminder that the only constant is change. I see a connection between fascia and this dance of fall bringing on its winds of change.
When the fascia is tight the body cannot adapt, move and change as needed. It is like wearing shoes that are too tight. Everything in the body becomes restricted. Just as a tree that does not sway in the wind will break, a rigid body is prone to break down. But the opposite presents problems too: when there is no tone, when things are too loose, there is a lack of integrity in the system, which can lead to dissipation of energy, fatigue and injury.
This brought to mind one of my favorite words these days – resiliency. Resiliency is the “ability to spring back from and adapt to adversity,” whether that adversity is due to physical or psychological stressors. Resiliency brings to mind energy that is not too tight and not too loose but, as Goldilocks would say, “is just right.” Resiliency is a play of balancing opposites, of equanimity.
What are some ways to create resilience? Working with the fascia is a good one. Doing things that are nourishing to your being/Being is another. I love to play with balance poses in the fall as they remind me that balance is not a static thing, that it is constantly changing and that every time I find a new point of balance for that moment, I am creating resilience.
What creates resilience for you? What nourishes you? Respond and we can start a dialog; I would love to learn from you.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Can the Hamstrings Ever be Happy? Part 2
Can the hamstrings ever be happy? Part 2.
Last week we focused on working with the hamstrings in terms of bones, muscles and alignment. There is an important piece that was left out that Doug Keller, Tom Myers and other wonderful teachers are paying more attention to, and that is the fascia.
What is fascia? Fascia is the connective tissue that is developed early on in the embryo and surrounds and holds muscles, muscles groups, muscle fibers, blood vessels and nerves together. The most superficial layer lies just under the surface of the skin and acts like a glove holding the entire body together. It is both thin and strong. This might seem a little gross, but if you have ever looked at a chicken breast and noticed the whitish colored thin sheets between the skin and the meat, that is fascia.
It makes sense then that if we try to stretch a muscle without attending to the glove encasing it, we might not get too far. Doug Keller states that “in contemporary theory, especially based on studies of embryology, it is the connective tissue of the body that seems to function in the way that Prana was described by the yogis.” Working with the fascia allows our whole body to breathe.
So how can we work with the fascia? In ShivaShakti Synthesis we focus a lot on warm-ups. Warm-ups are a way to create space to let the fascia breathe. Working with marma points, or places where the nadis or energy pathways cross, are another way to open the fascia. They are potent because they are places where energy tends to get blocked, just like any other crossroad. When we work with the marma points we are opening up the pranic pathways, which in turn, according to the science of yoga, opens both the body and mind.
So try this exercise from Doug Keller. At the bottom of the foot is a marma point known as Pada Madhya (pada meaning foot), which is located between the second and third metatarsals at the top of the arch.
Come into an easy uttanasana (standing forward bend). Keep the knees soft so there is no strain.
Gently shift your weight to your right foot.
Take your fingers to your right foot and “goose” the place on your arch described above by gently massaging it and putting slight pressure on it by pulling up. The pressure should feel like a release (not a strain), so as to protect the ligaments that form the arch.
Release the hand and return to placing equal weight on both legs in the forward bend.
Explore the depth of the pose; notice if there is anything different from your first version. Are the hamstrings perhaps more open on that side?
This is an example of working with the fascia through a marma point. By creating space in that energy system, the back of the leg was able to release a bit. Try the other side and then do both at the same time. This marma point does more than help the feet and legs. It is said to also help with headaches, cold feet, insomnia and lightheadedness.
Let me know how it works for you. And as always, I would love to hear from you about what you are interested in.
Last week we focused on working with the hamstrings in terms of bones, muscles and alignment. There is an important piece that was left out that Doug Keller, Tom Myers and other wonderful teachers are paying more attention to, and that is the fascia.
What is fascia? Fascia is the connective tissue that is developed early on in the embryo and surrounds and holds muscles, muscles groups, muscle fibers, blood vessels and nerves together. The most superficial layer lies just under the surface of the skin and acts like a glove holding the entire body together. It is both thin and strong. This might seem a little gross, but if you have ever looked at a chicken breast and noticed the whitish colored thin sheets between the skin and the meat, that is fascia.
It makes sense then that if we try to stretch a muscle without attending to the glove encasing it, we might not get too far. Doug Keller states that “in contemporary theory, especially based on studies of embryology, it is the connective tissue of the body that seems to function in the way that Prana was described by the yogis.” Working with the fascia allows our whole body to breathe.
So how can we work with the fascia? In ShivaShakti Synthesis we focus a lot on warm-ups. Warm-ups are a way to create space to let the fascia breathe. Working with marma points, or places where the nadis or energy pathways cross, are another way to open the fascia. They are potent because they are places where energy tends to get blocked, just like any other crossroad. When we work with the marma points we are opening up the pranic pathways, which in turn, according to the science of yoga, opens both the body and mind.
So try this exercise from Doug Keller. At the bottom of the foot is a marma point known as Pada Madhya (pada meaning foot), which is located between the second and third metatarsals at the top of the arch.
Come into an easy uttanasana (standing forward bend). Keep the knees soft so there is no strain.
Gently shift your weight to your right foot.
Take your fingers to your right foot and “goose” the place on your arch described above by gently massaging it and putting slight pressure on it by pulling up. The pressure should feel like a release (not a strain), so as to protect the ligaments that form the arch.
Release the hand and return to placing equal weight on both legs in the forward bend.
Explore the depth of the pose; notice if there is anything different from your first version. Are the hamstrings perhaps more open on that side?
This is an example of working with the fascia through a marma point. By creating space in that energy system, the back of the leg was able to release a bit. Try the other side and then do both at the same time. This marma point does more than help the feet and legs. It is said to also help with headaches, cold feet, insomnia and lightheadedness.
Let me know how it works for you. And as always, I would love to hear from you about what you are interested in.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Can the Hamstrings Ever be Happy?
Can the hamstrings ever be happy?
Most yoga teachers and experienced students are aware of the issue of tight hamstrings. In western society the "slouch" posture has become the norm. That posture generally involves the tucking of the sacrum and tailbone, which moves the pubic bone forward. If you stand up right now and do this you will probably notice that the buttocks bunch up, the hamstrings shorten and the quadriceps push forward becoming overstretched. This can lead to low back pain. However, if you unlock your knees and let the pubic bone move back while the tailbone softens down and in to greet the pubic bone you may notice a healthier tone returning to the butt and quad muscles allowing the hamstrings to relax and lengthen as the legs elongate.
But what about the flexible yoga practitioner who is experiencing pain at the sits bone, the ischial tuberosity? That pain may also be due to the hamstrings. Let's take the example of adho mukha svanasana, downward facing dog. In this pose, the instruction is often given to lift the sits bones up toward the ceiling while taking the heels to the floor. However, this can create strain on the hamstring muscle and/or the hamstring tendon. To come into this pose first warm up the shoulders, arms and wrists. Then come into table, tuck the toes under and shift the hips back into half-dog, keeping the knees on the floor, the shoulder blades grounded and the armpits light, just as in down dog. From half dog, lengthen the sits bones back and lift the hips from the strong thighs. Keep the knees slightly bent, lift the heels and buttocks up and then begin to “walk the dog”; do this by keeping the balls of your feet in place while bending one knee and lengthening the other several times to warm up the hips and hamstrings.
When ready to come into the full pose, bend both knees to slightly release the hamstrings and allow the pelvis to rotate on the head of the femur (upper leg bone). Then lift both ankles until, as Julia says, there are no wrinkles in the front of the ankle. This begins to lengthen the legs. Allow the sits bones to draw back at an angle toward the back of the room while lengthening the heels toward the back of the mat. Sense the natural alignment (in ShivaShakti this is referred to as a line of energy) that goes from the buttocks to the heels. Without tucking the sacrum let the buttocks flesh melt toward the heels while the toes are drawing energy up to the groins. Feel the connection between the head and the sacrum and between the sacrum and the heels. Back off if there is any sensation of pulling at the sits bone or knee. Remember, something has to stay grounded for something else to stretch. In this case, if the hips are lifted too high to the sky the pelvis doesn't stay grounded, and/or if the quads are bunched (instead of just engaged), the heels will pull and tug on the hamstrings instead of releasing them. This same principle applies to forward bending poses.
Give it a try and see what you think. Hopefully you will find your hamstrings to be happier, whether you started with a slouch or an overstretched muscle. What questions do you have to help me clarify this concept? How can this information translate off the mat, into sitting, standing and walking so the hamstrings can be happy? I’ll write more on this, but in the meantime we would love to hear from you.
Most yoga teachers and experienced students are aware of the issue of tight hamstrings. In western society the "slouch" posture has become the norm. That posture generally involves the tucking of the sacrum and tailbone, which moves the pubic bone forward. If you stand up right now and do this you will probably notice that the buttocks bunch up, the hamstrings shorten and the quadriceps push forward becoming overstretched. This can lead to low back pain. However, if you unlock your knees and let the pubic bone move back while the tailbone softens down and in to greet the pubic bone you may notice a healthier tone returning to the butt and quad muscles allowing the hamstrings to relax and lengthen as the legs elongate.
But what about the flexible yoga practitioner who is experiencing pain at the sits bone, the ischial tuberosity? That pain may also be due to the hamstrings. Let's take the example of adho mukha svanasana, downward facing dog. In this pose, the instruction is often given to lift the sits bones up toward the ceiling while taking the heels to the floor. However, this can create strain on the hamstring muscle and/or the hamstring tendon. To come into this pose first warm up the shoulders, arms and wrists. Then come into table, tuck the toes under and shift the hips back into half-dog, keeping the knees on the floor, the shoulder blades grounded and the armpits light, just as in down dog. From half dog, lengthen the sits bones back and lift the hips from the strong thighs. Keep the knees slightly bent, lift the heels and buttocks up and then begin to “walk the dog”; do this by keeping the balls of your feet in place while bending one knee and lengthening the other several times to warm up the hips and hamstrings.
When ready to come into the full pose, bend both knees to slightly release the hamstrings and allow the pelvis to rotate on the head of the femur (upper leg bone). Then lift both ankles until, as Julia says, there are no wrinkles in the front of the ankle. This begins to lengthen the legs. Allow the sits bones to draw back at an angle toward the back of the room while lengthening the heels toward the back of the mat. Sense the natural alignment (in ShivaShakti this is referred to as a line of energy) that goes from the buttocks to the heels. Without tucking the sacrum let the buttocks flesh melt toward the heels while the toes are drawing energy up to the groins. Feel the connection between the head and the sacrum and between the sacrum and the heels. Back off if there is any sensation of pulling at the sits bone or knee. Remember, something has to stay grounded for something else to stretch. In this case, if the hips are lifted too high to the sky the pelvis doesn't stay grounded, and/or if the quads are bunched (instead of just engaged), the heels will pull and tug on the hamstrings instead of releasing them. This same principle applies to forward bending poses.
Give it a try and see what you think. Hopefully you will find your hamstrings to be happier, whether you started with a slouch or an overstretched muscle. What questions do you have to help me clarify this concept? How can this information translate off the mat, into sitting, standing and walking so the hamstrings can be happy? I’ll write more on this, but in the meantime we would love to hear from you.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Falling and Getting Back Up
Falling and Getting Back Up
Thanks to Angela, our guest blogger, for sharing her experience and wisdom. She provided key insights to holding the space of student, which guides our deepening understanding.
In these past two weeks Angela and I have both blogged about the numerous ways the ego can sneak in and take over. This is normal. I repeat, this is normal. I get frustrated when people say "I can't believe s/he said or did that. After all, they are a yoga teacher". Have you ever heard that? It's as if the credentialing process for being a yoga teacher should include self-actualization. If this is true, there would be fewer teachers and many more gurus.
I don't know any teachers who profess to be perfect. Speaking for myself, I honestly admit that I teach because it keeps me on the path. And what is the path of yoga - it is about remembering our natural state of balance and wholeness, our union. And how do we figure out where we are out of balance? It is by weaving, swaying, tripping and sometimes even falling over. Being a yoga teacher does not mean we don’t trip ourselves up. Hopefully what it does mean is that we are committed to noticing that we have fallen, having the courage to look for what caused us to fall, i.e., the ego, and then getting back up and playing with a new kind of balance. Our mats are places where we practice awareness so we can be more aware in the world. Awareness is the key factor to healing into our wholeness.
Now you may be wondering if Angela and I learned anything on the mat at the yoga therapy training. Indeed we did learn many gems that we will be sharing. One is very apt right now. When talking about the leg action in certain poses such as triangle, trikonasana, Doug Keller would use the imagery of having one foot on the dock with the other foot on the boat and trying not to fall in the water. Just after the workshop, I was about to leave for the cabin in Canada (on a little island in a big lake and reachable by boat only), and I got the image all too well. I have been there and done that. Anyway, try it and see what your experience is and let us know.
Thanks to Angela, our guest blogger, for sharing her experience and wisdom. She provided key insights to holding the space of student, which guides our deepening understanding.
In these past two weeks Angela and I have both blogged about the numerous ways the ego can sneak in and take over. This is normal. I repeat, this is normal. I get frustrated when people say "I can't believe s/he said or did that. After all, they are a yoga teacher". Have you ever heard that? It's as if the credentialing process for being a yoga teacher should include self-actualization. If this is true, there would be fewer teachers and many more gurus.
I don't know any teachers who profess to be perfect. Speaking for myself, I honestly admit that I teach because it keeps me on the path. And what is the path of yoga - it is about remembering our natural state of balance and wholeness, our union. And how do we figure out where we are out of balance? It is by weaving, swaying, tripping and sometimes even falling over. Being a yoga teacher does not mean we don’t trip ourselves up. Hopefully what it does mean is that we are committed to noticing that we have fallen, having the courage to look for what caused us to fall, i.e., the ego, and then getting back up and playing with a new kind of balance. Our mats are places where we practice awareness so we can be more aware in the world. Awareness is the key factor to healing into our wholeness.
Now you may be wondering if Angela and I learned anything on the mat at the yoga therapy training. Indeed we did learn many gems that we will be sharing. One is very apt right now. When talking about the leg action in certain poses such as triangle, trikonasana, Doug Keller would use the imagery of having one foot on the dock with the other foot on the boat and trying not to fall in the water. Just after the workshop, I was about to leave for the cabin in Canada (on a little island in a big lake and reachable by boat only), and I got the image all too well. I have been there and done that. Anyway, try it and see what your experience is and let us know.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
When the Teacher Becomes the Student, Part 11
When the Teacher Becomes the Student, Part II
Last week Janice wrote about situations when the teacher becomes the student, as when attending a yoga workshop. I’d like to pick up on that thread but take the topic in a different vein.
As yogis, we have a lot we can share. Seasoned yoga teachers, especially, have years of training and teaching experience to draw upon, which we are supposed to share with our students. It’s our job to verbally cue our students to find their way in a pose. It’s our job to give voice to yogic wisdom about everyday life. It’s even our job to help our students sing and chant. For teachers of hatha yoga – the physical path - we use our throat chakras quite a bit. The throat chakra is governed by udana vayu – energy that moves up and out.
But how much are we to share when we are taking a workshop as a student and there is another teacher whose job it is to voice and share his or her knowledge? When we shift from yoga teacher to yoga student, the role we play can become hazy in our own mind. We get used to an outflow of information from ourselves to our students (udana), then when enrolled as a student in a workshop we are required to shift to drawing in the information. Making that shift in roles is temporary: we need to practice the workshop content enough to digest it (samana) and then offer the processed content back to our students (udana again). However temporary the shift in roles is, the transition can be difficult for those who are not mindful of the need to shift roles. So, how do we decide what to share in a workshop setting and when to just keep things to ourselves?
The answer may lie in adjusting our focus within much lower, to the root chakra, governed by apana vayu. Apana is related to releasing what is not needed. We often think of this in terms of bodily functions, but to quote Doug Keller (Refining the Breath, p. 135),
“In a subtle but vital sense, the apana vayu has much to do with our power of decisiveness and self-determination, both of which turn upon our power of choice. Choice demands not only the affirmation of one possible good, but also the elimination or exclusion of other competing goods – choosing one good over another. Clarity in defining oneself demands decisiveness in eliminating what doesn’t work for us, what is not needed, or what conflicts with our highest goals.”
So while we may have something to offer – the greater good, may be served by not saying anything. If our highest goal at a workshop is to learn, maybe sharing what we already know is not serving the highest good. So how do we decide? Oddly, when thinking about this I was reminded of The Four-Way Test of Rotary International, which I learned about through my husband. It suggests,
“Of the things we think, say or do
1. Is it the TRUTH?
2. Is it FAIR to all concerned?
3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?”
When I mentioned the Rotary questions to another yogi she reminded me of a similar set of questions which are attributed to Socrates: “Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?” And Sai Baba is said to have added, “Will it hurt anyone?” and my personal favorite, “Does it improve the silence?”
It is an easy jump from these lines of inquiry to the yamas: “Is it true?” obviously connects to satya (non-lying), though in a workshop setting, truth is generally not an issue. While listening to the content in a workshop we relate the content to our personal experience and often also decide whether we want to share that truth from our own experience. Upon occasion we may even find that the experience we have the urge to relate is less honorable, even if it is true. If we are making a gossipy side-comment, the veracity of that comment should be considered as well as whether it is harmful to someone. This leads nicely to the yama ahimsa (non-violence).
Interestingly, the three sources of criteria that I previously mentioned are focused on ahimsa: “Is it kind (fair/beneficial)?”, “Will it build goodwill and better friendships?” and “Will it hurt anyone?” To expand ahimsa beyond the physical we can add: will your comment hurt another student’s ability to learn? Will it take the class off-track? Is it detrimental so someone? Side comments, not spoken to the whole group often interfere with the class’ ability to hear the teacher. And the teacher may find it difficult to focus with other conversations going on. Those are also harms we can perpetrate.
Hidden in these side comments is the yama asteya (non-stealing). Are you stealing another student’s focus? Are you stealing time from the topic at hand? Are you stealing the limelight for yourself?
Which takes us to the yama aparigraha (non-attachment). Once you’ve got the limelight, can you let it go? Do you hang onto it and keep talking? Are your side comments about drawing attention away from the teacher and to yourself?
Finally, Sai Baba’s questions, “Is it necessary?” and “Will it improve the silence?” seem to me to be related to brahmacharya (restraint of the senses). Brahmacharya gets a lot of attention because it is most associated with celibacy, but it can also be thought of as self-restraint, or having some control over your impulses. When you have the impulse to share, can you edit yourself to sharing what is pertinent and helpful versus what is distracting and off track? Can you determine what is not helpful at the time and save it for later? Or maybe you have a question that is important but so personalized or detailed and specific that it would be better asked one-on-one. Saving it and asking it later is restraining the senses.
In writing this post I certainly do not want to dampen the lively interaction and learning that can occur at workshops; the give and take of the collective wisdom that exists in a particular classroom can truly be exciting. And I certainly am not suggesting that, as a teacher taking a workshop, you shouldn’t ask questions. I am just suggesting that as teachers we take our yoga practice with us when we are in the role of students. If we are aware of our energy and how it is flowing, if we reflect on the questions provided by Rotary International, Socrates, and Sai Baba, and if we remember the wisdom of the yamas, the quality of the interaction you and your fellow students have with a teacher may be positively influenced. An increase in the level of learning in turn influences the level of teaching we offer when we leave the workshop. That improves everybody’s yoga!
Please let ShivaShakti Synthesis know if these thoughts and lines of inquiry are helpful in determining what to share at a workshop. Or perhaps you have another way to decide. Will you share?
Angela Nicolosi
Last week Janice wrote about situations when the teacher becomes the student, as when attending a yoga workshop. I’d like to pick up on that thread but take the topic in a different vein.
As yogis, we have a lot we can share. Seasoned yoga teachers, especially, have years of training and teaching experience to draw upon, which we are supposed to share with our students. It’s our job to verbally cue our students to find their way in a pose. It’s our job to give voice to yogic wisdom about everyday life. It’s even our job to help our students sing and chant. For teachers of hatha yoga – the physical path - we use our throat chakras quite a bit. The throat chakra is governed by udana vayu – energy that moves up and out.
But how much are we to share when we are taking a workshop as a student and there is another teacher whose job it is to voice and share his or her knowledge? When we shift from yoga teacher to yoga student, the role we play can become hazy in our own mind. We get used to an outflow of information from ourselves to our students (udana), then when enrolled as a student in a workshop we are required to shift to drawing in the information. Making that shift in roles is temporary: we need to practice the workshop content enough to digest it (samana) and then offer the processed content back to our students (udana again). However temporary the shift in roles is, the transition can be difficult for those who are not mindful of the need to shift roles. So, how do we decide what to share in a workshop setting and when to just keep things to ourselves?
The answer may lie in adjusting our focus within much lower, to the root chakra, governed by apana vayu. Apana is related to releasing what is not needed. We often think of this in terms of bodily functions, but to quote Doug Keller (Refining the Breath, p. 135),
“In a subtle but vital sense, the apana vayu has much to do with our power of decisiveness and self-determination, both of which turn upon our power of choice. Choice demands not only the affirmation of one possible good, but also the elimination or exclusion of other competing goods – choosing one good over another. Clarity in defining oneself demands decisiveness in eliminating what doesn’t work for us, what is not needed, or what conflicts with our highest goals.”
So while we may have something to offer – the greater good, may be served by not saying anything. If our highest goal at a workshop is to learn, maybe sharing what we already know is not serving the highest good. So how do we decide? Oddly, when thinking about this I was reminded of The Four-Way Test of Rotary International, which I learned about through my husband. It suggests,
“Of the things we think, say or do
1. Is it the TRUTH?
2. Is it FAIR to all concerned?
3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?”
When I mentioned the Rotary questions to another yogi she reminded me of a similar set of questions which are attributed to Socrates: “Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?” And Sai Baba is said to have added, “Will it hurt anyone?” and my personal favorite, “Does it improve the silence?”
It is an easy jump from these lines of inquiry to the yamas: “Is it true?” obviously connects to satya (non-lying), though in a workshop setting, truth is generally not an issue. While listening to the content in a workshop we relate the content to our personal experience and often also decide whether we want to share that truth from our own experience. Upon occasion we may even find that the experience we have the urge to relate is less honorable, even if it is true. If we are making a gossipy side-comment, the veracity of that comment should be considered as well as whether it is harmful to someone. This leads nicely to the yama ahimsa (non-violence).
Interestingly, the three sources of criteria that I previously mentioned are focused on ahimsa: “Is it kind (fair/beneficial)?”, “Will it build goodwill and better friendships?” and “Will it hurt anyone?” To expand ahimsa beyond the physical we can add: will your comment hurt another student’s ability to learn? Will it take the class off-track? Is it detrimental so someone? Side comments, not spoken to the whole group often interfere with the class’ ability to hear the teacher. And the teacher may find it difficult to focus with other conversations going on. Those are also harms we can perpetrate.
Hidden in these side comments is the yama asteya (non-stealing). Are you stealing another student’s focus? Are you stealing time from the topic at hand? Are you stealing the limelight for yourself?
Which takes us to the yama aparigraha (non-attachment). Once you’ve got the limelight, can you let it go? Do you hang onto it and keep talking? Are your side comments about drawing attention away from the teacher and to yourself?
Finally, Sai Baba’s questions, “Is it necessary?” and “Will it improve the silence?” seem to me to be related to brahmacharya (restraint of the senses). Brahmacharya gets a lot of attention because it is most associated with celibacy, but it can also be thought of as self-restraint, or having some control over your impulses. When you have the impulse to share, can you edit yourself to sharing what is pertinent and helpful versus what is distracting and off track? Can you determine what is not helpful at the time and save it for later? Or maybe you have a question that is important but so personalized or detailed and specific that it would be better asked one-on-one. Saving it and asking it later is restraining the senses.
In writing this post I certainly do not want to dampen the lively interaction and learning that can occur at workshops; the give and take of the collective wisdom that exists in a particular classroom can truly be exciting. And I certainly am not suggesting that, as a teacher taking a workshop, you shouldn’t ask questions. I am just suggesting that as teachers we take our yoga practice with us when we are in the role of students. If we are aware of our energy and how it is flowing, if we reflect on the questions provided by Rotary International, Socrates, and Sai Baba, and if we remember the wisdom of the yamas, the quality of the interaction you and your fellow students have with a teacher may be positively influenced. An increase in the level of learning in turn influences the level of teaching we offer when we leave the workshop. That improves everybody’s yoga!
Please let ShivaShakti Synthesis know if these thoughts and lines of inquiry are helpful in determining what to share at a workshop. Or perhaps you have another way to decide. Will you share?
Angela Nicolosi
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
The teacher becomes the student
The teacher becomes the student
A sign of a good teacher is the one that is able to also be the student. Teachers learn in the moment from experiences with their students and other teachers. They also benefit from purposefully putting themselves in the role of student, as I did recently by attending the Doug Keller yoga therapy training. I have eagerly been anticipating this event for over a year, as I was unable to go last year. As a side note, he is a wonderful teacher if you ever have the chance to attend one of his trainings.
I arrived just in time for the training due to work and traffic. As a result, I got a spot in what I will refer to as the “black hole” of the room. I did not feel a sense of connection, and as we know from yoga, disconnect is the reason we develop an ego. My ego, which tends to show up as self depreciating, began to get loud. A common misconception is that ego is bragging and boastful, but that is only one side of the coin. Whether you are telling yourself you are better or worse, it's still all ego. My negative self talk ramped up and for awhile I bought into it. And then remembering came to me. I was not alone. I am perfectly imperfect. I am part of an incredible tradition that is still developing.
Once this awareness came I could see the factors that were contributing to my discomfort and rather than sit and suffer by myself, I reached out. By sharing my vulnerability and being received with empathy, my perspective changed. Does this mean that my ego was totally silent for the rest of the training? Not at all. But I could laugh at my thoughts, I could share them with others and best of all, I could remember the underlying connection and unity that ties us all together.
I learned a lot on about yoga therapeutics as well and am looking forward to sharing those next time we meet. In the meantime, check in with your sense of self and remember you are not alone. We have each other's back.
Shanti, Janice
A sign of a good teacher is the one that is able to also be the student. Teachers learn in the moment from experiences with their students and other teachers. They also benefit from purposefully putting themselves in the role of student, as I did recently by attending the Doug Keller yoga therapy training. I have eagerly been anticipating this event for over a year, as I was unable to go last year. As a side note, he is a wonderful teacher if you ever have the chance to attend one of his trainings.
I arrived just in time for the training due to work and traffic. As a result, I got a spot in what I will refer to as the “black hole” of the room. I did not feel a sense of connection, and as we know from yoga, disconnect is the reason we develop an ego. My ego, which tends to show up as self depreciating, began to get loud. A common misconception is that ego is bragging and boastful, but that is only one side of the coin. Whether you are telling yourself you are better or worse, it's still all ego. My negative self talk ramped up and for awhile I bought into it. And then remembering came to me. I was not alone. I am perfectly imperfect. I am part of an incredible tradition that is still developing.
Once this awareness came I could see the factors that were contributing to my discomfort and rather than sit and suffer by myself, I reached out. By sharing my vulnerability and being received with empathy, my perspective changed. Does this mean that my ego was totally silent for the rest of the training? Not at all. But I could laugh at my thoughts, I could share them with others and best of all, I could remember the underlying connection and unity that ties us all together.
I learned a lot on about yoga therapeutics as well and am looking forward to sharing those next time we meet. In the meantime, check in with your sense of self and remember you are not alone. We have each other's back.
Shanti, Janice
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