Presence

Last time we were talking about establishing presence and truly listening. Your presence is the greatest gift you have to offer. What would it be like to give yourself that gift? To listen to yourself?

Most of us have had the experience of becoming inured to a sensation. If you live by the railroad track the noise may at first create distress, i.e., interrupting a phone conversation because you can't even "hear yourself speak." Yet after sometime you may find that the sound has muted in the background, perhaps no longer a disturbance but rather a familiar friend. Given the amount of stimulus we are subjected to each day, it is understandable that we begin to tune out. How often have you heard someone with a back strain say they don't know how it could have happened, they simply bent down to pick up a piece of paper and "ouch," they couldn't stand back up again? Those of us familiar with the workings of the body know that it was not that simple, there had most likely been messages about the back for months that had not been heard.

How can we begin to hear ourselves again?

A couple weeks ago I was fortunate to have been at an iRest Yoga Nidra training. Yoga Nidra is a process of traveling through the koshas to heal and unwind any stuck places so we can deepen into the practice of meditation remembering our wholeness, our True Nature. The iRest style of Yoga Nidra, developed by Richard Miller PhD., places strong emphasis on noticing sensation and "meeting and greeting" every sensation as a welcome messenger. Be sure and check out their website: www.irest.us.

Instinctually, we are hard wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. This makes sense when it comes to learning not to stick our hand into the fire. But when we label other sensations as painful that are not dangerous we can spiral into a pattern of attachment and aversion that puts us on the roller coaster of suffering. I can share a personal example. I am quite attached to peace, love and harmony. This, to me, is pleasure. Conversely, as one might guess, I react to anger as if it were pain. I don't like it within me or around me. Yet anger is a normal and natural emotion. It is not “bad”. It is my reaction to it that creates the trouble, not the emotion itself. By this I mean, when anger becomes present and I push it down, I can become “sweetly and nicely” controlling, i.e., passive-aggressive. And we all know that there is nothing sweet or nice about that. It would be much more useful for myself and the other person if I said, “I am angry about this situation. When I can find some words, I would like to talk more about it.” Or “you seem angry and that really triggers me. I am going to go collect myself and perhaps we can talk more later.” This would be greeting the experience rather than reacting to it. Of course, I will not be able to actually speak my truth outside if I am repressing it inside. This is where iRest comes in.

Like all yoga nidra, we begin with setting the intention and then doing a body scan. This creates physical presence that allows for a deepening to occur. Next the focus in on the breath. This draws awareness even deeper and set up for the next stage, which is welcoming of sensation. We can begin with sensation like hot and cold, which tend to have less of an emotional charge. That would look like, “where is hot located in my body, what does it feel like? Where is cold in my body and what does it feel like?” From a neutral and relaxed place, this pair of opposites can be explored and any reactions to them can be noticed. The more aware we are of our reactions, the more we can begin to unwind the patterns of reaction and move into right action. Other opposites can be explored, loose and tight, relaxed and tense, etc. They can be fully explored. In other words, welcome them as an invited guest.

When this feels doable, then move onto emotions. Using my example, it would be anger. I could invite anger to be present. I then would explore it fully - where it lives in my body, how I feel when it is present, its color, shape, texture, etc. Thoughts that tend to go along with the experience of anger. In other words, be fully present to the sensation of anger. Then I would invite its opposite – perhaps happiness or serenity. I would explore the sensation of that emotion in the same way. Then I would invite them both to be present. I think of this as inviting them both to the dance and noticing how they dance together. They are, after all, two halves of a perfect whole. After some time of observation, I can move back into feeling the sensations. The feeler becoming the observer. The observer moving back into felt sensation. Then--and this stage takes practice and it is what our yoga is about–taking it off the mat, hold both at the same time. In other words, feeling the reality of my feelings while observing them. By feeling them, I have an idea of what is going on within me. By observing them, I can take that data and come up with an action that is right for that moment. That keeps me in harmony with the world. And here is the most excellent part. Harmony is what I was seeking all along. I just can’t get there by repressing my feelings. By giving myself the gift of presence, I become present. As we know there is no greater gift than that.

I hope you had a wonderful day of grace and gratitude and may it follow you into the holiday season. Take a moment and give yourself the gift of your presence. Let me know how it goes.

Shanti, Janice